DUELING COLUMN: What I eat is none of your business

Editor’s note: This article contains reference to disordered eating.

As a picky eater, I know the reasons people choose to eat from a known palate aren’t always straightforward. I’ve seen the way a hesitancy to try new things has hurt those who have worked to prepare a home-cooked meal, and I get it. Different cultures normalize different ingredients and the community around a meal can be much more meaningful than picking up a snack between classes.

Every time I refuse to eat a cookie or candy brought by my classmates, I’m rejecting their gratitude, their desire to share community in a way only food can provide. Food is my love language, too — I usually cook to show my appreciation for those I care about most.

But I understand why people stick to what they know. Picky eating is usually more complex than a refusal to try new things. Sometimes an avoidance of food has absolutely nothing to do with ignorance of the traditions of others.

Refusing different food items can absolutely be disrespectful. In 2020, the D’Amelio sisters of TikTok fame lost over a million followers after expressing disgust towards paella, a Spanish signature dish which traditionally includes snails. Gagging and pretending to throw up on a major video platform was inconsiderate towards the culture which originated the dish and the private chef that prepared it especially for them.

The most understandable reason people avoid new foods is allergies. I’ve seen my waiters panic, trying to avoid a situation where I’m shooting my EpiPen in their restaurant. Rather than run down the seemingly endless list of foods that can kill me every time I eat out, it’s way easier to stick to meals I know are safe.

I’m known to be picky, but I’m also known to eat absolutely everything that won’t make me sick, and safety comes first.

The same goes for medical conditions. Alongside restrictions like lactose intolerance or Celiac disease impacting dairy or gluten digestion respectively, there is an array of reasons people don’t eat certain meals. It can also be difficult to predict how food can change your blood sugar. Someone at risk for developing diabetes may choose to play it safe, turning down doughnuts brought by a coworker without any intention of rejection.

Similarly, mental health can play a huge role in what people eat. Eating disorders can display in a range of ways, impacting 9% of Americans at some point in their lives. Someone might be in recovery, with a limited diet actively assisting with their health. 

Alternatively, a “picky eater” might actively be struggling with an eating disorder. In any case, judgement and criticism doesn’t support their physical and mental health.

Just as diets around the world may introduce ingredients we can be more open to in society, we should be mindful of the foods some cultures actively avoid. Alongside veganism and vegetarianism, halal and kosher diets avoid various foods for religious reasons. Certain animals could be sacred, such as cows within Hinduism. And honestly, openly expressing religious beliefs is not always safe in modern society. People should be allowed to adhere to dietary restrictions without disclosing their faith.

If someone chooses not to try something new, don’t assume they’re being intentionally disrespectful. People do not owe you an explanation and deserve your understanding. Food can be an incredible shared experience, but it should not be a gateway to building community.

Article originally published on Technician's website, found here.